Loveless, Worthless, and Useless
by MTVQ
Summary: Poor Lovino feels uncared for... and then crazy crap happens! *I'm not good at summarys, just read the goddamm poem! LOL* rated M for Explicit language, and suicidal actions.


Loveless, Worthless, and Useless

Again.

He compared me to him today,

Again,

I must really be worthless,

Aww! Look at your brother!

All helpful and stuff!

Maybe itll rub off on you!

Hed swooned,

Im not helpful,

My kid brother is better than me,

Im nothing but amphibian shit,

In my lovers eyes,

Even though were supposed to be,

Meant to be

I tell my self,

In the quiet of my bedroom,

Everyone likes Veniziano better,

My mom,

My dad,

Practically everyone who crosses paths with,

Adorable,

Golden eyed,

Cheerful Veniziano,

Loves him...

Not me.

So Im not

Happy all the time,

My eyes are amber,

Im angsty and angry sometimes,

So what?

And now I start to believe hes better than me overall,

I bet Antonio only loves me,

Because I inherit most of my grandfathers money,

Every time he talks about my stupid brother,

My heart cracks into pieces,

Leaving sharp shards that,

Stab the inside of my body,

I really am just nothing,

I dont deserve shit,

Not even love,

Someone who deserves only hurt,

More hurt than I already have,

I cant change who I am,

For someone elses standards,

So Im helpless,

Loveless,

Joyless,

Hopless...

I huddle deeper into my sheets,

I hate myself,

Despising my very being,

I dont want to feel anymore,

I need more pain to distract my broken heart,

Before I know it,

Ive locked myself in my room,

Staring at the blade,

Of the largest knife I own,

Nausea seizes my stomach as I

Bring the knife closer to my pale arm,

It touches,

I bleed,

I cry out in agony,

I cant feel anything but my arm,

Good.

I let it bleed out,

I clutch my arm,

Blood soaks my hand,

I feel good,

No thoughts of my brother,

I slice again,

Stinging pain brings more tears,

And screams,

But it feels good,

Too good for me to have...

Nothing good should ever happen,

To scum like me,

Pain shuts me down,

Blood soaking my sheets,

I sob into my pillow,

My head lightens,

Too much blood is missing,

I hear a knock on my door,

I run to the closet,

Turn off all the lights in it,

Huddle in a corner,

Weeping softly,

Blood soaks through my jeans,

Warm crimson liquid stuck and dried,

I cut again and again,

Ignoring the constant knocks,

I know he doesnt love me,

No one ever did,

My eyes continue to flow,

This is what I deserve,

Pain and sorrow,

While my body suffers,

This is where I belong,

In a closet,

Crying,

Cold and alone,

This was right...

Being happy,

Kisses and walks in the park,

Eating tomatoes,

And all of my other favourite things,

Are all wrong,

I shouldnt enjoy them,

For I am useless,

Hated,

Unloved,

Unloved,

Nothing in general,

Alone,

No one will ever be faithful and,

Stay at my side,

I hear a scream from my room,

I flinch at the noise,

But stay unmoving,

In pitch black darkness,

I hear my name being called frantically,

Antonio must have found my bed,

White sheets stained crimson,

Light seeps through the open door,

Crap...

Ive been found,

I try to cover myself with a blue cotton sweater,

But unfortunately,

He still sees my bloody hands,

His voice is full of tears as he says.

Lovino! Oh my God, what happened to you?

Like _he_ cares,

Im not _that_ dumb,

He pulls the sweater off me,

Go away, you bastard!

I sob,

Broken and bleeding,

He gasps as he takes me into view,

Oh my God, Lovi, you need a hospital!

Hate fills my eyes,

You should go take _Veniziano _to the hospital!

You actually _love_ him!

He is crying,

So am I,

He takes the knife,

From my bloody prying hands,

I dont love Veniziano, Lovino!

He shook my shoulders and

Made me face him,

Looked into my eyes,

I love you!

He tries to convince me,

I dont believe his bull shit,

You lair! Everyone loves him better!

Only pain and darkness love me!

I scream at him,

Tears run down my face,

Blood down my arm,

No, I love you and no one else!

Hate and hurt still remain in my eyes,

As I glare into his large glistening green eyes,

You only want my grandfathers money,

You lying bastard!

I scream at him,

Hate spitting out my words,

No, if I wanted your stupid grandpas money,

Id let you die so I could inherit it!

I cant lose you!

You keep me alive, Lovino!

This is so selfish of you!

He yells back at me,

Hes actually crying for me,

He cares about me,

Not my money,

Or my brother,

I collapse into my hands and weep,

While he gingerly picks me up,

And calls an ambulance,

I fall into his strong arm,

While we wait,

I cry and he apologizes to me in his sweet voice,

Over and over,

Holding me close,

Letting me cry into his shoulder,

I cling to him,

Knowing Im not useless,

Not alone,

Im something,

Now I know Im loved,

And that brings tears to my eyes,

But these are tears of joy,

No more pain or knives,

Blood or tears,

Im very happy now,

Nothing can bring THIS Lovino Vargas down.


End file.
